Something stupid over the weekend(funny)

Last night I received a call from a mate at the middle of the night. I told myself this better be good or else... You can't blame me for being grumpy when I am dead tired and sleepy ok? Anyway here is the conversation(translated from Cantonese).

Me : Hello. What's up?(Hello! mat kau?)
A : Got a problem here. I just got my new PC from the PC fair this evening.(Diu, Ngo shan PC kam yat lei jor.)
Me : So? I need to sleep la.(Ngo hou gui. Oii fan gau la)
A : No this is serious. I really need help.(Mou la. Hou yim jong ge. Yau man tai)
Me : What prob you get?(Meh si woh)
A : My PC doesn't start up(Neh, Ngo PC um jeok)
Me : You sure you plugged it in?(Yau mou chap cable?)
A : Har? Need to plug it in? I thought wireless one?(Har, Yew chap ge meh? Um hai mou sin ge meh?)
Me : Fuck! Since when your PC generate electric on it's own one? Go find the cable la.(Niamah! Bin gor gau lei um sai yong din geh? Wan go cable chap la.)
A : Okok. done plugging(Okok. Chap jor)
Me : Press the button and see if it works now.(Gam gor jai tai hang um hang)
A : Ok. Done and it lights up(Ok Gam jor. Jeok jor)
Me : Oklo. (Mai hou jor lo)
A : Eh how come the monitor doesn't work? It's not lighting up.(Eh. Geh monitor mou jeok geh?)
Me : Did you plug in the cables for the monitor?(Yau mou chap monitor cable?)
A : My monitor is wireless one(Ngo monitor wireless geh)
Me : Ok. Take your monitor. Walk 20 steps away from your CPU.(Ok leng lei geh monitor hang 20 chek from lei geh CPU)
A : Ok walked already(Ok hang jor)
Me(Obviously fed up and frustrated) : Ok listen. Here is what you need to do. Pack back everything in the box they came in and send back to the company. (Ok lei teng ngo gong. Chap fan sai seng gah PC fong fan lok geh hap, gei fan bei geh pou tau)
A : Is it so serious? What's the problem?(Yau mou kum yim jong? Meh si leh?)
Me : It's the problem between the PC/Table and the chair. (Man tai hai PC/Toi tong dang jong gan)
A : huh?
Me : You are too dumb to use a comp. Send them back to the shop so others can make good use for it.(Lei tai chun jor. Um sai yong PC jor.)
A : ....(speechless)
Me : Where do you think the electric to the monitor come from? Plug from your finger is it?(Let lam har geh monitor geh din bin dou lei geh? Sau ji chut hai mai?)
A : Okok. I will plug in all cable and see if it works.(Okok. Ngo wan sai gor dit cable chap jor sin)

After around 5 minutes the same fella called again

A : Hello. The monitor lighted up but I can't type on the keyboard or move my mouse.(Monitor jeok jor. Keyboard type um dou le. Mouse yuk um dou)
Me : Is it wireless?(Wireless geh hai mai)
A : Yeah(Hai)
Me : See in the box if you find 2/4 piece of AA/AAA battery.(Wan har geh hap tai yau mou 2/4 AA/AAA din)
A : Yeah it's in the box. How you know they are there?(Yau wor. Lei dim ji yau din geh?)
Me(Feeling like wacking that idiot in and out with his keyboard and strangling him with his PC cables) : Ok. Now go swallow the battery and you will see both of them work. If it doesn't I will burn you one PC. (Ok. Thun jor gor leong lap din tai hang mou. Yi gu um hang ngo siu gar PC bei lei)
A : Yoh. Where to put la.(Yoh fong bin dou geh?)
Me(I am so tempted to say up his arse here) : Behind the keyboard and mouse la(Hai keyboard tong mouse hau bin)
A : Ok bye. Goodnight.

I wonder why people like him are allowed to even go near a PC. This coming from a person handling the groups program coding.